As I started my January/February Newsletter, I began by compiling my best tips for achieving goals and change in the New Year. Sure, I believe it is good advice. But, somehow, it didn’t quite feel right. I kept procrastinating writing, feeling unmotivated. Then it hit me… People may come to me for therapy seeking to change themselves. But most of the time the person I see is just fabulous. And we work on her seeing it, too.
I had a sweet friend named Kelly who I used to hang out with 14-15 years ago. We would make plans to go out and I would say, “Oh, I’m going to change and be ready by 7…” and he would always say, sincerely, “Don’t change, Abby. Don’t ever change.”
This Valentine’s, I encourage all of my readers to take a moment to love themselves. It is sometimes hard to look in the mirror and say anything positive. We grow up thinking it is self-centered, vain, selfish… I think it is self-preservation. If we practice kindness and love for ourselves, we are better able to love those around us. We can better be loved.
In the words of the wise man that serenaded my workout class this morning, “You are beautiful just the way you are.”
“Yeah, I know, I know, when I compliment her she won’t believe me
And it’s so, it’s so, sad to think that she don’t see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say
When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change
Cause you’re amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while
Because girl you’re amazing, just the way you are.”
“Just The Way You Are” by Bruno Mars. (link to video)
The lyrics raise another question. Do you ever reject compliments? Because it would be vain to agree? Because you don’t agree? Next time, try simply saying, “Thank you.”
What do you think? Is it vain or cocky to compliment ourselves? To accept a compliment from someone else? Should we wait for someone else to validate us??
Please start your day like little Jessica: